Things I Wish Someone Told Me Before I Delivered Babies

You can read all the books and google everything you can think of about delivering a baby but theres always something you wish you had been told beforehand. The nitty gritty. The truly honest. The things that only the closest people you know can tell you without offending you or really scaring you.

If there’s one thing that I would tell someone getting ready to have a baby-regardless of what number child this is for them- I think I would say; Find someone that understands and let them help you. Tell that person how you really feel and don’t be afraid to be vulnerable. Having just one person who can help you feel heard or validated can make all the difference in your postpartum journey. Someone you can show your true feelings to knowing you are loved and cared for while trying to find your way through postpartum life is more important than any other “new parenting tip”.

I recently did an Instagram poll where I asked my followers what are things you wish someone had told you before you delivered your baby? And I was amazed by the honesty and some of the things people said! Also I totally agree, these are definitely things that would be nice to know beforehand.

• Shave the lady parts before delivery- it helps keep recovery a bit cleaner and if you have a c-section they will do it for you, ouch!
• Postpartum sweating and hair loss are no joke, be ready.
• Maxi-pad ice packs are a lifesaver in the hospital especially the Frida-Mom ones
• Buy the nipple cream
• You don’t need nearly as much stuff as marketing makes you think you need
• With a boy- get Aquaphor in a TUBE not a TUB to put on circumcision if you get it
• C-Section recovery is no joke, and how tired you’ll be after delivery
• The hormone adjustments/emotional roller coaster is so real. “Baby blues” was an understatement. I thought something was wrong with me, didn’t realize it was so common.
• Projectile pooping is normal and will (eventually) stop
• Feeding babies is hard
• It hurts like hell
• C-Sections are not a walk in the park
• They don’t get easier the older they get
• Postpartum contractions hurt too. And they can last for a while!
• Start taking stool softeners a few weeks before birth.
• Prepare for postpartum more than the actual birth

Tell me what is something you wish someone had told you before you had babies?

10 days postpartum plus Newborn Pictures

Hi there! How are you doing lately? As you can imagine we are surrounded by little kids, chaos, a lot of love, and a lot of dirty diapers. As of yesterday we were 10 full days postpartum and I guess that would make today day 11, but 10 sounded better for the title.

I’m feeling really good, like surprisingly good. I am amazed with the difference in recovery for me from a non-medicated birth versus a medicated birth. I’ve now had two of each and both my non-medicated births I was able to recover much faster than the others. It could be the order I had them in and my body is just used to having to recover from birth, but honestly I attribute a lot of it to delivering without pain meds. I feel so grateful for the work my body has done over the last 11 days, plus the nine months before that, or the several years before that. It has given us four healthy, beautiful kids that are such gifts. It really is miraculous to think about how “we made our own people”. I am no where near “fully recovered” nor do I think you ever can be after having a baby. I grew a human! I never want to be the same but as far as recovery goes I’m doing well.

The kids have adjusted remarkably well. Emily and Sophie have been a ton of help- at times maybe too much- but they have the best of intentions and love having a baby around. Maggie just loves to run around yelling “baby, baby!” We’ve been a few places already but mostly just carpool to and from school. The timing of having Jay and having the older kids in school has been really nice. It gives us a place to go everyday and structure to our days (anyone who stays at home can tell you that those those two things can make a huge difference in your day), plus it gives the kids a place to get out a small amount of their endless energy. Jay has been as sweet of a baby as you could ask. He sleeps as well as a newborn can, (please don’t let this jinx us) and really only cries when he is hungry.

With some of the kids I found it really hard to feel ready for Jon to go back to work, so this time we are spreading out his time off to help make the transition a little easier. Last week he was off two days, worked two days, and then was off on Friday. This week he is working the full week with hopefully a bit of work from home time added in before two short work weeks in a row. While he was off last Friday we were able to spend several hours with our family photographer and friend Kristen for Jay’s newborn pictures.

I had so many outfits planned and didn’t use any except one! Kristen is amazing and comes up with the best swaddle combinations so Jay didn’t need any of his outfits and the girls just stayed in their white dresses the whole time. Lots of white and light blue for these pictures.

Our family photos are some of my most treasured belongings. We will never have our kids at these exact ages again so being able to capture those memories is so precious and important to me. Friday’s visit to Kristen’s was the most relaxed and easy newborn session we have ever had, partly I think because of how we planned it.

We sent Emily and Sophie to school, dropped Maggie off at my parent’s house, and then Jon, Jay, and I went to Kristen’s We started with all of Jay’s individual photos plus the ones with just the three of us. Then Kristen and I stayed to finish with just Jay while Jon did a reverse carpool to pick up all the girls who had been fed lunch and gotten out some energy at school or grandparents house. Then we were able to quick change everyone into their outfits and get the whole family shots with all the kids done super quickly. It was brilliant! In years past we’ve tried starting with everyone and then finishing with just the newborn but that hasn’t always resulted in the calmest picture taking experience. Somehow regardless of how terrible our kids behave, Kristen always gets the picture. She’s seriously a very patient and very talented magic photographer. I can’t wait to see how these came out.

Overall I would say the last 10 days have gone really well. We are tired but we are also no where near as tired as we have been in the past. Every one of us is totally captivated by Jay and it already feels like he’s always been here. I’m so grateful for the family and friends that have come to meet him and help us out. My cup is truly overflowing and most days I just don’t know how to fully express my gratitude. So for now I’ll just keep snuggling these little ones and enjoying each precious moment.

He’s here!

Hello friends! Currently snuggled up with the newest addition to our family as I write this, because yes our little guy has arrived! Welcome to the world Jay!

He took his time arriving on Thursday September 30th at 8:50 am. Rocking a weight of 9 pounds, 6 ounces, and 21.75 inches long. A full pound and a half bigger than any of our other kids!

Labor actually started sometime Wednesday during the day. As I was getting things done with the kids I was having spread out but painful contractions that really ramped up around 8 pm after we put all the kids to bed. Having a history of prodromal labor made it really hard for me to be able to tell if I actually was in labor and I was wary to fully commit for a while. We timed contractions at home until around midnight while looking at old pictures and videos of our family and then decided it was time to “boogie” to the hospital. We called to wake my mom up, who promptly arrived at our house and off we went to the hospital.

This is where I felt like everything really started clicking into place for us. We accomplished our first goal of safely making it to the hospital to deliver the baby- and were able to dispel the first of a few concerns we had. Once checked into triage it was confirmed I was definitely in labor and already 5-6 cm dilated! We also were able to somehow swing having my night nurse in labor and delivery a close friend of my sister so I was incredibly cared for.

Once we were settled into our room around 2am, time seemed to pass so slowly but also go in a fast forward blur. I was checked around 4 am and was at 6cm and then at 6 am was 8cm. My nurse (the amazing wonderful Madison) was able to secure wireless monitoring for me so I wasn’t tethered to the bed or one specific spot. I was able to move, dance, pace, go to the bathroom, and be on the labor ball. I hardly sat on the hospital bed. For someone who loves to be active this was such a helpful way for me to labor naturally and then add in Jon’s hard work of counter pressure on my back for each and every contraction, labor was flying by.

By 7 am I headed into transition and things got really tough. We had been awake literally all night and were exhausted. My water still had not broken and I was deep into the labor zone with contractions every two minutes or so. Serendipitously my friend and doula Heidi was at another birth three hospital rooms down and showed up at the perfect time. I literally cried tears of joy when she walked in the room and took over my labor. And really she just took over. She knew just what to do to help and how to say it. She had me laughing and smiling but also screaming. Within a few minutes of her arriving it was time for me to push.

I started pushing-then asked to have my water broken- and kept pushing for almost an hour. I was able to have two midwives plus a doula in the room so my body got to call the shots. I pushed in all different positions as was allowed to be wherever was most comfortable. It felt like no matter where I was I just couldn’t seem to make progress which was incredibly frustrating for me. My flight or fight response was definitely triggered and even though I was pushing I just couldn’t seem to make that connection to working through the pain. I wanted to but also it was so immense, who can blame me for not wanting to do it?! At this point Heidi said “Jenna now is when you have to CHOOSE to be a mom of four. You have to do the work.” So I did. I rolled onto my knees and got to it. Within a few short pushes Jay was here and I was the one to catch him!

It was surreal and painful and beautiful and he’s perfect.

I was able to labor at home on my own, my water did not break on my new carpet at home (I was very worried about that!), arrived safely and on time to the hospital, moved freely around during my labor, had Heidi there for delivery, birthed a healthy baby, and did it all naturally. Literally every goal accomplished and it’s honestly overwhelming how grateful and blessed I feel.

Now we are home and life is so full. Our kids are all together and I feel such deep contentment and gratitude. I am sleep deprived but elated. How could anyone ask for anything more?

Best part is that for two pregnancies (Maggie and Jay’s) Heidi would ask “when all this is over what do you want to feel?” and I would tell her I just wanted to be able to give Jon a high five at the end of it all and feel like “yep that was great”. As Jon and I were leaving the hospital Friday we got into the elevator and without saying anything both lifted our fists for a fist bump at the same time. Yep it really was great.

Halloween Books for Young Kids

Boo! Happy October! How fun is it to get into the seasons and holidays with young kids? I love experiencing each holiday through my kids eyes and making little fun seasonal changes to our house and routine. We usually put out a few small Halloween decorations that the kids can touch and move (I learned a long time ago not to use anything too fragile or special with all young kids). I also have a small collection of books to make bed time reading a little more exciting for each holiday. It’s a fun way to shake things up and teach the kids about the upcoming celebration.

This year on the blog I am going to do a series that will feature our favorite kids books for the upcoming holiday at the beginning of October, November, and December. So to celebrate the beginning of October and the arrival of the official Halloween season, here are some Halloween Books for Young Kids!

Room on the Broom By Julia Donaldson, Illustrated by Axel Scheffler

This book has been around for a while, but with the release of a Netflix short movie a few years ago it has made a major comeback in popularity. We actually have two different copies of this book and I haven’t gotten rid of one because each time one kid starts reading it another wants to as well. They absolutely love this story and honestly so do I. The premise of the book is a sweet little witch who keeps adding to her little crew of friends. She cares for each one she finds and the message is just too cute. Highly recommend!

Little Blue Truck’s Halloween By Alice Schertle, Illustrated by Jill McElmurry

We first bought this book when Emily was little and every year I keep waiting for her to grow out of it, but she gets just as excited to see it again and again. It’s a lift the flap that includes animals, costumes, and some fun little rhymes. I don’t know that I can think of Halloween and not say “Beep Beep Boo!” anymore thanks to this book.

The Little Old Lady Who Was Not Afraid of Anything By Linda D. Williams, Illustrated by Megan Lloyd

This was our new addition to our collection last year and at first I was a little wary our kids would be scared when reading it. Turns out they actually love it. The rhymes and rhythms that come from the story along with the hilarious story line are entertaining to read over and over.

The Biggest Pumpkin Ever By Steven Kroll

This story is great for your slightly older kids that have the attention span for a longer story and love a little mix up. The two main characters take care of the same pumpkin and it ends up being the biggest pumpkin ever! They use team work to each accomplish their goal and its a great example of the benefits of working together.

The Mouse in the Hammock, a Halloween Tale By Bethany Brevard

Every year we try to find one new book to add to our collection, and this year it is “The Mouse in the Hammock” which was just released this year. I love the repetition of directions in this book that the kids can catch on to and move to the words of the story. Its about a little mouse looking for the perfect Halloween costume while also discovering how grateful he is for the light!

Honorable mentions:

Halloween with my unicorn By Hanona Ras

Our kids LOVE to color, so finding a seasonally relevant coloring book particularly one that also includes unicorns is a major win. Add in some extra Halloween stickers that I saved from last year and this is going to be a big success. If they don’t fill the entire book this year, I will save it in our Halloween bin for next year- if the kids are willing to part with it! I will say this book ha a watermark in each picture and I’m not sure why. Wouldn’t recommend if this is something that will bother you!

Fancy Nancy’s Haunted Mansion: A Reusable Sticker Book for Halloween By Jane O’Connor Illustrated by Robin Preiss Glasser 

Last year’s activity book was a Fancy Nancy Halloween story with re-usable stickers and I’m happy to report that it survived to be able to reuse for this year too! Reusable stickers can be really hit and miss but this book was a big hit last year and looks like it will be again this year!

Are there any Halloween books that you would recommend? Did your parents do anything special with books for the seasons or holidays when you were little?

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Due Date and How I’m Staying Busy

Happy Due Date to us!

It feels like I’ve been pregnant for approximately forever. I have no clue when baby will decide to arrive, could be in five minutes or five days and there’s a part of me that has resigned myself to the idea that I’m going to be a medical marvel that stays pregnant forever. Can you picture it? I’ll be 80 and still pregnant, but totally famous. Could be cool right? Obviously I have had a little extra time to think lately… So here’s how I’ve been trying to stay “busy” to pass the time the last few weeks.

• Reading– I’ve been doing so much reading. Seriously, five books this month. At least one or so a week! I have a great “Recent Reads” post ready because I’ve had so many new books checked off my list but also whoa five books in a month is kind of a lot.
• Chores– Laundry, cleaning, vacuuming the usual stuff. Some call it nesting but honestly it’s my regular routine it just takes so much longer lately that it actually is a nice way to help pass the time. (I think I might be actually losing it by saying this!!!!)
• Sick kids– Always a fun extra element of adventure during a pandemic to keep your kids home while also waiting for a baby to arrive. We’ve basically had a sick family member consistently for the last three weeks, which has occupied a lot of my mental energy along with physical energy because we haven’t had nearly as much school time as I would have liked. Hopefully we are getting it all out of the way now so when baby comes, we are all in the clear.
• YouTube vlogs– I love vlogs and have a whole post coming soon on my favorites. For now I’ll tell you that they have been a great way for me to pass some time in between reading marathons.
• Pampering/self care– Every week for the last few weeks I’ve scheduled some kind of pampering or self care event to look forward to. First it was an “at home spa night”, then it was a prenatal massage on our lower deck at sunset ( it was surreal and totally amazing), and most recently a pedicure date with my mom!
• Playing outside– One massive perk to still being pregnant is that the weather has finally turned cooler which has been such a blessing to enjoy. We furnished our lower deck so I have a very comfy place to sit while the older girls run around in the yard.
• Putting away maternity clothes and getting out nursing clothes– This is a total nesting thing and I’m fine with it. We are hardly going anywhere so I have been sticking to an even smaller selection of clothes which has given me the chance to pack away or clean out a lot of stuff. Its helped me focus on the things that are coming and try to stay positive. I love switching out wardrobes and I especially love cleaning out closets so this has been really fun.
• Blogging– You may not have heard from me as much lately but that’s because I have been busy working ahead. I have some really fun posts headed your way that have kept my brain busy while we wait. If there’s anything you want to me to work on, let me know! I seem to have the time these days…
• Planning Emily’s birthday party- Emily turns five in October and she wants a ballerina birthday party so I’ve been diving into Pinterest for some easy ideas to plan ahead with.
• Not wearing a watch- I got so annoyed with all the movement reminders from my watch that I just stopped wearing it recently and it’s been really nice. I’m not as tied to the time or my lack of activity and I also am not as connected to my phone so less screen time which is always a good thing.
• Doctor’s appointments– One doctor’s appointment a week is plenty for me. It’s a whole process to get the kids squared away, drive up to the office, waddle inside, and then reverse the process. I am usually really wiped out after going which helps pass the time but also I won’t miss having to go as often soon.

For someone who has hardly gone anywhere, lives in comfy dresses and pajamas, and is relatively physically limited at this point I’ve been doing a lot! I was talking to a friend recently who is also expecting a baby and we were commenting on how slow time moves during these last few days. It’s like you are in a vacuum, suspended from reality and just waiting for things to speed up again but you have no idea when that will happen. And things will certainly happen at some point, but until then we are good to just keep doing what we’ve been doing and waiting!

Any guesses on when our little guy will arrive? Or how about some suggestions to pass the time? Better yet, anyone have a crystal ball that will tell us WHEN he will get here?

How I Accidentally Created A Capsule Wardrobe

It should be no surprise to you by now that stuff stresses me out. Several years ago, Jon and I started working on living a more minimal and essentialist life and we can go into the details of what that means to us in a different post, but in a nut shell we just try to live with what we need and not an excess.

One particular place we worked hard to pare down was our wardrobes. It was far easier for Jon than for me. I felt the social pressure as a woman to have a different outfit for different circumstances and occasions plus multiple sizes so it was harder for me to let go of certain items. Jon on the other hand was a champ at getting rid of all the “back of the drawer”, “don’t wear it ever”, “never going to need it again” stuff. It was stressful for me to watch him get rid of so much but as he did, I felt like I might be able to also. As is much of the tale of the last 5 or so years for me I was pregnant or nursing at the time and wasn’t able to get rid of as much as I could have because I wasn’t using a large portion of the clothes I owned. So I started looking into capsule wardrobes and discovered that I had accidentally created multiple capsule wardrobes for myself years ago.

What is a capsule wardrobe?

It’s basically a small, purposely curated selection of clothes that may have a common color palate to be mixed and matched for a particular season. Think “fall capsule wardrobe” with all tans and dark neutrals that can be interchanged with a few pairs of boots or jackets for different looks. Typically most women use it for a weather season, but I found that I was also using it for a “season of life”. Think about it! Maternity clothes, postpartum clothes, nursing friendly clothes, and regular clothes. I was way ahead in the capsule wardrobe game before I even realized it!

What about all your other clothes?

I put them somewhere else. I don’t leave my Christmas decorations sitting out all year, so why would I leave my winter clothes in my closet next to my summer ones when I’m not using them, especially when I’m pregnant. I’ve never had a closet with unlimited space, so to help with clutter and to keep things organized I box up what I’m not using or put it in the back corner of a kid’s closet where there’s empty space. I have a bin for maternity clothes that comes out when I’m pregnant, a bin of nursing/postpartum clothes that comes out towards the end of my pregnancies to prepare for nursing. As I grow out of something maternity it goes back in the bin. If I have a long sleeve nursing shirt but it’s the middle of the summer it stays in the bin. Only what I need or currently using comes out. It also encourages me to constantly be looking at my clothes and say goodbye to items that are no longer in style or needed. I only buy items that I know can work for multiple weather and life seasons. Piko shirts are a go to favorite for me because they fit me almost all the way through pregnancy, are easy for nursing, and come in long or short sleeve options. I’ll grab a few that work for the weather and then rotate when needed.

Ok but I’m not pregnant or nursing, can I still do a capsule wardrobe?

Yes! At first it can seem like a really scary thing to do to your closet because you are taking so much out and only leaving a certain number of pieces, but the best part is that you don’t have to adhere to any particular rules. I started with “seasons of life” but you could start with just a regular weather season. Take out all your fall clothes but save your heavy winter items for later in the season. Play a game of how many different outfit combinations can you make with only a small number of your clothing items. You can also identify if there are any major important pieces missing in your wardrobe (I realized a few years ago, I had several pairs of jeans but not a single one fit me) or see if you can replace multiple pieces of just “ok” clothes with one or two high quality pieces instead. It’s a great opportunity to pare down in numbers and concentrate on quality.

Can I do this for my kids clothes?

You sure can, I do! I started doing this for our kids when I was trying to convince my independent second born that winter clothes are not for summer and Jon made the statement “why not just put away the options you don’t want her to pick from?” DUHH. So all their winter and fall clothes are on not in their closets and drawers until the weather starts to turn a little chilly. As the seasons change so do their wardrobes and usually the sizes of their clothes. This helps me feel like we aren’t drowning in multiple sizes and multiple seasons of clothes in every closet.

Where can I learn more about capsule wardrobes?

There are a ton of resources for capsule wardrobes on the internet but I would be wary to adhere to anyone else’s standards strictly and figure out what works best for you. I love Erin from Cotton Stem for seasonal outfit inspiration but personally I would never be able to wear what she does on a daily basis because I live in leggings. The unfancy capsule wardrobe planner is another helpful tool, or Project 333. I think the best way to learn is to do a little reading, then try it out and see what works for you.

I like this idea, but I have no idea where to start…

Ok don’t freak out… but the best way to start is to clear everything out of your closet and drawers. Absolutely everything. Pile it all up on your bed, the floor, that random chair in the corner of your room. Next sort everything into piles. I usually do a dress pile, a sweater pile, pants, shirts, etc. (hint it helps to do this as you take everything out!) Then get rid of anything you haven’t worn in a long time, doesn’t fit, isn’t from this decade, or is completely out of style. Identify what you want to go back into your closet for the season- remember less is more! Clear out your donate or sell piles, and store everything you aren’t using somewhere else. You don’t have to get rid of everything just concentrate on getting rid of what you don’t need and focusing on what you love to wear most. Set your timeframe for your capsule- maybe it’s when the weather changes or after you deliver your baby and then reassess as needed.

It seems counterintuitive, but taking away all the excess options in my closet has opened me up to new wardrobe choices I wouldn’t have noticed before. I love the simplicity of having less in front of me and the ease of not having decision fatigue over what to wear every day. I can grab the pieces I know will fit and look good without having to put myself through the “nothing fits” or “I have nothing to wear” battles because I know it all works. And if something doesn’t work? Goodbye! No point in keeping it if it’s no longer helping you and is adding stress to your life. As a busy mom, I literally do not have time for that.

So what do you think? Have you accidentally created a capsule wardrobe for yourself? Would you ever try using one?

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Postpartum Must Haves To Stock Up On Before Baby Comes

Getting ready for a new baby takes a ton of work. Chances are if you’re expecting or know someone expecting she’s probably focused her “preparation energy” mostly on things that baby will need and may have totally forgotten what she might need as a new mom. As I head into my fourth postpartum journey here are a few “must haves” that I always stock up on or try to have ready for myself before baby arrives.

• Fridamom supplies– The hospital provides you with these kinds of things but it makes a big difference for me when I bring my own supplies to the hospital. The maxi-pad ice packs are amazing.
• Nursing Pads– I typically use these disposable ones but there are wonderful washable ones as well.
• Lanolin– Trust me.
• Hakaa– This wasn’t a thing for my first baby but once I got one it was a game changer. It helped me store so much extra frozen milk with my second and third kiddos. Also definitely get the one with the cap because it’s heartbreaking to knock it over in the middle of the night. I used this in lieu of a pump plenty of times and was so glad I had it.
• Nursing pillow- Absolutely a personal choice which one you use. I registered for a Boppy with my first pregnancy and ended up buying a “My breast friend” about two days into my nursing journey. This was what my lactation consultant suggested and I’ve used it for all my kids.
• Loose, forgiving clothes-Doesn’t matter what brand or if they are new, just that you can wear them comfortably and they give you easy nursing access. I love nursing pajama dresses for the immediately postpartum time and then usually opt for a piko shirt and leggings as time goes on.
• Ollie Gray Nursing Bra– After nursing three different kids for almost a year each, I think I can safely say I know what I want out of a nursing bra and Ollie Gray is my favorite. I will do a full review soon, but for now just trust me and get yourself at least one if not several of these.
• A heavy duty water bottle- Fill up a massive bottle to have next to your bed or nursing station overnight. I usually never drink from a water bottle with a spout except for overnight nursing. There were too many accidental overtired water spills all over me and baby that necessitated starting to use a lid. Its also really helpful to be able to open one handed because I usually get super thirsty as soon as I start nursing. I typically use my hydroflask for overnight and then something a little less bulky for during the day.
• Nursing entertainment- Doesn’t matter what you choose but definitely have a plan for something to entertain you. Staying awake during the overnight feedings can be hard and having something to entertain you is very helpful. Whether its the library app, a good podcast. a new vlog episode, or a bingeworthy TV series, find something that can keep you up.
• Frozen foods- If someone asks you for a baby gift idea instead of asking for an actual gift ask for a frozen meal. Or do what I do and just stock your freezer with Trader Joe’s and Costco frozen meal options. Either way works.
• Pumping supplies- Even if you don’t plan to pump or bottle feed it is always better to be prepared.
• A comfortable nursing place- Make yourself a little nursing or pumping corner in each section of your house. For me upstairs in my bedroom is always the first spot and then downstairs I have a comfy recliner with a table next to it.

While I would say there are plenty of other things to add to this list, with modern day online shopping you can get what you need as you need it so it’s better not to get too much in advance. Online overnight Amazon shopping is totally fair game when you are feeding a newborn and there’s always something you’ll need but didn’t think of in advance. Just have the essentials for the first few days and then order or have someone pick up what you need. No need to have absolutely everything before baby comes.

What did I forget? What is a must have for you postpartum?

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38 weeks and a deck update

Hey there! How’s your week going? We are plugging along through ours!

Some of us have had little runny noses (nothing major) so it’s been a stay home kind of week. School happened earlier in the week and then I think the exhaustion of getting back to a semi-normal schedule caught up with a lot of our family by Tuesday evening. We slowed down for some rest at home and now that everyone seems to be feeling better we wait for baby through week 38.

We have finished our last project (for now) that would require someone hired to help and this time I seriously mean it! Since we finished the sunroom we are not having anyone come work inside, but we were able to squeeze in a project last week outside. We are big time into playing outside with our kids so when we moved in we knew we needed to do something with our deck to make it safer. The overall structure is satisfactory, definitely not pretty but it needed some pretty big bandaids to make it safe for us to use with kids. The whole bottom deck needed to be reinforced in some major areas and there were some spots with some really big drop offs and no railing. We also had a good number of boards rotted out that needed to be replaced.

It took us a little longer to make up our minds on what to do because eventually we plan to redo the entire deck, but that is just too big of a project for now. So we bought ourselves some time by making it safer for the next few years until we can really decide what we want to do. First step was to reinforce the supports on our entire lower walkway. When the deck was built there were no supports in-between every four foot section of decking so the boards were just asking to be taken care of. We reused the same planks but with extra support underneath and being refastened the right way- aka no major nails sticking out- it felt like a new deck. We also added an extra set of supports under the stairs that were mounted into concrete.

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Once that was done the rotted planks on the top deck were replaced and then the railing on the lower deck was added. Our whole goal with this project was safety and function not necessarily aesthetics but I think it came out looking pretty nice too. At this point we are basically putting lipstick on a pig so any improvements help big time. At the end of the big staircase we added one little step off to the side for yard access and left the original ramp that was on the far side of the deck.

We added one additional set of stairs from the middle portion of the deck for yard access with a small railing. We had a really hard time trying to decide where the right place for this staircase because the ideal place would require moving a sprinkler head we had just finished installing. Of course that’s where we ultimately chose to do it, so the sprinkler head and lines had to be moved.

After all the debating and looking at the final result it really was the perfect place to put the stairs. The railing frames the space in so nicely and adds so much space to lean on, put drinks on, and use functionally as well as aesthetically. It was such a simple project on paper. Add a deck rail, replace some old parts, add a few stairs, but as always things seemed to feel more complicated in reality. Probably has something to do with juggling three kids, being pregnant etc. So there we go! Done for now and very happy with how it came out. We also recently finished installing our new swingset border and mulch so in the coming weeks we can finally going to get our yard seeded and hopefully get some grass growing!

Slowly but surely seems to be the theme for our lives lately. Just taking our time and letting things happen as they will which is not always suitable for my personality. I’m such a planner and there’s just not much I can do to plan these days. Will we be able to make plans with friends for the weekend? No idea and that’s ok. It’s good for me to relinquish that control and just slow down even if I don’t want to. Besides school for the older kids, we’ve pretty much reduced our social lives to a few close friends and some family. I froze my gym membership and haven’t been going to any public places to try and limit risk. Plus I can’t really do much physically these days so it all works out. (haha irony) Now we just continue to wait!

What do you do to pass the time when you are waiting for something to happen?

37 weeks and counting

Hi there! Yes I am still pregnant, I know you’re wondering.

Question for you now.. Is it just me or does time seem to pass more slowly the closer you get to your due date? I seriously can’t believe how slowly time is crawling by the last few days which is hilariously not how the rest of this pregnancy has felt. As my mom says “the days are long but the years are short” and I am really feeling that this week.

Every call and text I get lately has that hesitant “Heyyy how are you?” greeting… aka “are you in labor”? After three other births at this point I know to answer a call with “No I’m not in labor” or “don’t worry it’s not time yet” just to put everyone at ease. It’s funny how odd it can feel to know you only have a small amount of time left but you have no idea when it will actually be “go” time. Everyone around me seems to be feeling similarly to me with anticipation which also feeds into that slow motion time effect.

So now that we’ve established I’m still pregnant, time is moving slowly which is not a bad thing, and we are ready- here’s what we’ve been up to so far this week!

Monday aka Labor day-

I hilariously thought I was actually in labor most of the day Monday which felt so poetic. I have the gift of prodromal labor where my body will do a large portion of my laboring before it’s actually “go” time, so I spent most of the day trying to rest, timing contractions, and wondering if this was it. Spoiler alert it wasn’t! Otherwise we had a great day! Brunch with friends, tons of snuggles from the kids, and plenty of time to rest and relax.

Tuesday-

First official day of school for the year! Only Emily had school though because Sophie is on a Monday, Wednesday, Friday school schedule this year. I had a whole new outfit with matching hair bows picked out for the kids but they wanted to wear their favorite pink dresses and I couldn’t refuse. Emily had a fantastic first day of school and the rest of the day was spent laying low. I was tired from Monday’s excitement and trying to get everyone out the door that morning so I was grateful for some extra time to rest again. Seems to be a theme for me lately!

Wednesday-

First day of school for Sophie and first day of the dance year for both the older girls. I was up super early for some reason so it felt like I had a lot of extra time to get everyone prepped and ready for their day. I did successfully get everyone to wear their new matching outfits, which felt like a major victory. Now to just work on the whole picture taking skills…

Em and Sophie went to school, Maggie hung out with my mom, and I went to brunch with some friends to celebrate the beginning of the school year. I think it’s safe to say we all enjoyed our morning. Normally we would just rest in the afternoon but this was our first day of dance class for the year as well. We rallied and made it through with good spirits. The kids had the best time at dance and made my dance teacher mommy heart so happy.

Thursday-

School day for Emily, doctor’s visit for me, stay at home day for the other kids. Even on the “slower” days schedule wise there’s still so many moving parts. I can’t bring kids with me to my appointments and now that I’m going every week I’m constantly looking for someone to keep kids while I go. It was a good appointment although they always seem to wear me out and thankfully our afternoon didn’t have anything scheduled besides more progress on our latest home project. Did I mention that yet? Yes we are doing another project, just outside this week. 🤦‍♀️

Friday-

Oh the sweet bliss of fall weather this morning. I couldn’t be more grateful for the break in the summer heat. Today’s plan- yep you guessed it! School! I love when the school year starts and gives us some structure to our days. Maggie and I have plans to see my mom and one of my sisters!

As we head into the weekend my only goal is to relax and enjoy the time we have with our kids.

What are your weekend plans?!

Honest Update

Hi there! My mom went to visit my Grandma last weekend who apparently is a big fan of this blog, so hi Grandma thanks for reading! One thing they both said was how much they enjoyed that I write updates on our family as well as reviews etc. So as I’m headed into the final weeks of this pregnancy I thought it would be a good time for an honest update on how I’m doing.

I would be lying if I said that this was easy but also I would be lying if I told you I would change something. Isn’ t that motherhood in a nutshell? It’s crazy and difficult but at the same time its the best. I am a big advocate of honesty over diplomacy. Being honest doesn’t mean being mean or rude or complaining, just not hiding the truth. Factual communication of circumstances and feelings that help inform others what is going on. So don’t take any of this as a complaint because let’s be real, I am incredibly lucky All that being said, I’m doing ok.

We had dinner with my parents the other night and my Dad (lets say that again- MY DAD) even noticed that the last few weeks have worn on me differently than any other pregnancy I’ve had. Before we touch on that let’s recap. I have a history of low platelet counts when I’m pregnant so I had heavy doses of steroids at the ends of both pregnancies with Emily and Sophie. I was also induced with both. Not exactly a huge obstacle but still definitely added stress to the end of a pregnancy. When I was pregnant with Maggie we were in quarantine for the last two months before she was born because of a worldwide pandemic. Stressful for sure. Yet somehow this time has noticeably worn on me differently for even my dad to notice. No offense to my dad he’s just not someone that takes note of these things in detail like others…like my mom

So what’s different? For one my appetite is gone. I’m living off of ice cream, smoothies, and peanut butter sandwiches primarily. Although this week I have a very random desire for hot dogs which I can’t stand when I’m not pregnant. My nausea is back probably connected to my appetite being gone but those two factors have lead to a seriously low energy level. And for someone chasing three kids around all day, energy is kind of necessary. I get tired at the most basic things like folding laundry or making lunch, and I’m always looking for my next spot to sit down which is absolutely uncharacteristic of me pregnant or not. I physically feel ok, mostly just slow. Like everyone around me is moving in fast forward and I’m in slow motion. It’s such a weird phenomenon. Sleep has been hit and miss. Some nights I have no trouble at all and others I’m wide awake at 2am for no reason, which I think is totally typical by this stage in pregnancy. I’m still working out although not as much as I would like to but that’s just me holding myself to a pre-pregnancy or past-pregnancy standard that’s totally unnecessary. (See lack of energy part of post)

Mentally I feel more prepared than I did with any of our other kids. I know how to take care of a baby and I love newborns. I do have a lot of anxiety about taking care of four kids and giving everyone the kind of mom I think they deserve. Maggie is still so small and I feel like I’m ending her babyhood early with the birth of this baby. I felt the same way for Emily just before Sophie was born- fun fact Maggie and this baby will be almost the exact same age difference as Emily and Sophie are. I get so lost in my own head that sometimes I forget to see how amazing everything is right in front of me. Emily has never remembered life without Sophie and they are the best of friends. I honestly think we would not have survived quarantine if they didn’t have each other. There are some things I cannot give my kids that only they can give each other, and because of that I’m so grateful they have each other. Also my kids love babies so having another baby is absolutely going to be really hard, but Emily and Sophie are going to be great help.

So really, I’m ok! I’m slow and tired and not feeling great but also excited. I’ve never been a boy mom before so it feels like being a first time parent in a lot of ways. I’m looking forward to feeling better physically and being able to stand the smell of my fridge again but also I don’t feel an overwhelming need to rush to the end. This guy can take his time and arrive when he’s ready. I will be glad to have him here whenever and I’m also ok to enjoy the last few weeks as an only girl mom with Maggie as my baby.